“Why Does My Child Do That” —BM Therapist’s Take on Sensory/ Automatic Behaviours
As a parent, you may have watched your child flap their hands when excited, rock back and forth when waiting, or hum while playing quietly. Sometimes, these behaviors can feel puzzling or even concerning. But as behavior therapists, we see them differently.
These are called sensory or automatic behaviors — actions children do because they are internally rewarding. Unlike behaviors aimed at getting attention, avoiding a task, or asking for items, sensory behaviors are not about the outside world. They are about how the child’s own body and mind experience comfort, stimulation, or relief.
What Exactly Are Sensory/Automatic Behaviors?
Sensory behaviors are those that are self-reinforcing. That means the child doesn’t need anyone else to respond, because the behavior itself gives them what they need.
Think of it this way: adults often tap their foot, twirl their hair, or doodle during a meeting. We may not even notice we’re doing it — but it helps us feel focused or calm. Children, especially those with autism, ADHD, or sensory processing differences, often rely more heavily on these behaviors.
Some common examples include:
♦ Movement-based: rocking, spinning, jumping, hand-flapping
♦ Sound-based: humming, repeating words, tapping objects
♦ Touch-based: rubbing fabrics, chewing on clothing, finger-flicking
♦ Visual-based: staring at lights, spinning wheels, lining up toys
To the child, these actions are soothing, regulating, or enjoyable — much like how an adult might sip coffee for comfort or listen to music to unwind.
Why Do These Behaviors Happen?
From a therapist’s perspective, sensory behaviors serve a purpose — even if they don’t make sense to us right away. Children may engage in them because:
♦ They are seeking sensory input (movement, pressure, sound, light) to feel balanced.
♦ They are trying to self-soothe when anxious, tired, or overwhelmed.
♦ They need a way to release extra energy or excitement.
♦ They may find it simply enjoyable — a personal comfort like a favorite hobby.
It’s important to remember: not all sensory behaviors are a problem. Many are harmless and even helpful for children in managing their emotions and environments.
How Can Parents Tell if It’s a Concern?
Here’s what we often tell families: the key question is not “Does my child have sensory behaviors?” (because almost every child does). The real question is: “Do these behaviors interfere with daily life, learning, or safety?”
Sensory behaviors may need attention if:
♦ They are harmful (head-banging, biting skin, scratching until bleeding).
♦ They limit opportunities (a child can’t join group play because they’re too focused on spinning wheels).
♦ They occur so often or intensely that they prevent learning, communication, or building social skills.
♦ They cause distress to the child when interrupted.
If the answer is yes to any of these, parents may want to explore strategies with a therapist.
How Should Parents Respond?
As behavior therapists, we don’t see sensory behaviors as something to “fix.” Instead, we ask: “What purpose is this serving for the child, and how can we support it safely?”
Here are some approaches:
♦ Accept and Normalize
Not every sensory behavior needs to be stopped. Rocking, flapping, or humming may be harmless ways your child is managing feelings. Suppressing them can create more stress.
♦ Observe the Triggers
Watch when the behaviors occur. Are they linked to excitement? Stress? Boredom? Identifying patterns helps in finding healthy replacements if needed.
♦ Provide Alternatives
Offer safe sensory outlets — fidget toys, chewable jewelry, weighted blankets, swings, or sensory bins. This lets the child meet their need in a constructive way.
♦ Teach Regulation Skills
Gradually introduce calming strategies like deep breathing, “squeeze and release” exercises, or structured movement breaks.
♦ Set Boundaries Where Necessary
If a behavior is unsafe or disruptive, guide the child toward an alternative. For example: replacing head-banging with pushing against a wall or using a cushion.
♦ Celebrate Small Progress
Reinforce when your child tries new coping strategies or balances sensory play with other activities.
When Should Parents Seek Therapy?
You don’t need to rush to therapy for every sensory quirk. But support is recommended if:
♦ Your child engages in self-injury or dangerous sensory behaviors.
♦ The behaviors dominate their day, leaving little room for learning or social interaction.
♦ You feel overwhelmed or unsure how to respond without making things worse.
♦ Your child’s school or peers are significantly impacted.
In therapy, we use assessments to understand the function of the behavior, create safe alternatives, and equip children with self-regulation skills. Most importantly, we work with families to ensure children feel understood, not judged.
Final Thoughts
Sensory/automatic behaviors may look unusual from the outside, but for many children, they are a vital way of coping, regulating, or simply enjoying the world. As therapists, we believe these behaviors are not signs of something “wrong,” but windows into what a child needs.
When approached with patience, compassion, and professional guidance when necessary, children can learn to balance their sensory needs with everyday life. And most importantly, they can feel accepted for who they are.
At Al Najma Center, we believe every behavior tells a story — and we’re here to listen, understand, and support families every step of the way.
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